Being a 4th year medical student rocked. My last three months involved a simple outpatient rotation where I worked 4 days a week, a vacation month (month!) that involved a cruise, and a relatively simple education project I created where I worked from home. Now I'm active duty Air Force and have to wake up early every day, and my body and brain are having a hard time adjusting. I'm the kind of tired where I don't feel like doing things that take effort, like playing most video games or reading.
In lieu of my current bout with reality, and the Smash Ultimate announcement earlier today, I figured I'd do something that took very little mental effort: ranking all of these characters. Minimal commentary.
Tier "Why are you here?"
64. Dark Pit - normal Pit shouldn't even be in this game so no clone plz63. Lucina - she's literally a clone of a character that already has a clone
62. Mii - so 2006
61. Dr. Mario - so 1990
60. Daisy - I can't unsee that the front of her hair looks like a big butt
59. Wii Fit - is this a character?
58. R.O.B. - why tho
57. Duck Hunt - is this a character?
56. Palutena - just say no to Kid Icarus
55. Villager - Animal Crossing is cool but doesn't exactly scream fighting game character
54. Jigglypuff - no one even cared during first gen tbh
53. Mr. Game & Watch - is this a character?
52. Pac-Man - is this a character?
51. Bowser Jr. - I swear if the Koopalings show up in one more game
50. Pit - *sighs*
49. Zero Suit Samus - I don't really like this being a common way Samus is presented
48. Shulk - I don't personally care for Xenoblade and his voice is the worst
47. Pichu - more clones and more Pokemon = bad
46. Roy - more clones and more (unremarkable) Fire Emblem characters = bad
45. Robin - are avatars characters?
44. Lucario - outdated Pokemon
43. Rosalina - has Rosalina been in a thing since Galaxy 2?
42. Young Link- kind of redundant
41. Toon Link- see above, at least happy memories from Wind Waker
40. Pokemon Trainer - decent concept but only to shoehorn more Pokemon in
39. Ice Climbers - is this really a classic game in the same tier as most of the others whose characters are on this list?
38. Greninja - not as exciting as he was when he was a brand new Pokemon
Tier "They're here I guess"
37. Diddy Kong - I literally can't think of anything to say36. Olimar - Pikmin is a thing
35. Lucas - love Mother 3 but he's starting to feel more like a middle finger
34. Meta Knight - Kirby's number 2 villain...pushing it
33. Corrin - hate avatars as characters but interesting moveset redeems a bit
32. Inkling - I don't have much stake in Splatoon but new IPs are new IPs
31. Peach - has to be here I guess?
30. Yoshi - ohg;ioqahrovh (I'm bored)
29. Little Mac - cool that he's here
28. Ryu - Street Fighter is a fighting game
27. Dedede - Kirby's number 1 villain...okay
26. Mewtwo - 2nd (maybe 3rd) most iconic Pokemon
25. Cloud - for those crazy FF7 fans
24. Donkey Kong - has to be here
Tier "These guys aight"
23. Ganondorf - makes sense22. Kirby - from a game
21. Sonic - gives us cool Sonic vs. Mario battles
20. Mario - in every Mario crossover game for some reason
19. Luigi - slightly better Mario
18. Marth - big part of bringing FE to the west but too many clones
17. Snake - one of the first big third party characters who doesn't feel right in this game (in a good way)
16. Megaman - belongs in this game as a titan of classic gaming
15. Fox - fun to use, loses points for being a furry
14. Falco - Birb Fox
13. Ike - best FE character in this game (not saying much)
Tier "The good ones"
12. Wolf - better moves than Fox and Falco, glad he's back, grumpy furry11. Shiek - works best combined with Zelda; fun to switch fighting styles mid-battle
10. Zelda - see above
9. Bowser - drop kicks
8. Link - iconic and versatile moveset
7. Pikachu - rivals Mario for most recognizable icon in this game
6. Bayonetta - maybe helped bring Nintendo to the naughty side?
5. Ness - Earthbound is so good, cool that he's been in from beginning
4. Wario - an amazing character that farts
3. Captain Falcon - has been in more Smash games than F-Zero games, honestly is more iconic in this series (Falcon Punch, show me your moves, etc.)
2. Ridley - meme becomes reality, Metroid love
1. Samus - who else were you expecting?
As always tweet at me why I'm wrong. Bedtime!
