7. Tyranitar
Out of all the Pokes on this list, Tyranitar is the one I am most tolerant of. A green rocky dinosaur isn't the worst thing ever, but people act like this thing is the best Pokemon ever. Personally, I like Tyrantrum a lot better. Tyranitar's face is just too derp.
6. Luxray
E'rybody always talkin' bout how cool Luxray is. Here's the hard truth: you were tricked into thinking Luxray is cool by a game saturated with horrible Pokemon. You all of the sudden find a Pokemon that's a 4/10 on the design scale, and you're like SWEET ALLAH MY NEW FAVORITE POOKIEMAN. Joke's on you, Luxray is actually stupid.
5. Arcanine
Look, there's nothing wrong with Arcanine. But the problem is, he represents one of the laziest trends in Pokemon: take an animal, give him an arbitrary type, and color him that type. Voila! Fire dog. Boring AF. Hard truth: You don't like Arcanine because it's cool- you like him because he's stronk.
4. Dragonite
GET YOURSELF A DRAGONITE!!! People lost their doodie over Dragonite in Gen I because he was a dragon. And back then, that was pretty sweet. We would all gloss over the fact that he looked like he walked right out of monkey flippin' Dragon Tales. Because he was the only fully evolved dragon we had. Well guess what. It's Gen VI now. There's actually good dragons. Haxorus, Rayquaza, Flygon, Hydreigon, Noivern, heck, even Salemence as generic as he is. Dragonite should go the way of the laughing stock, but because Genwunners can't take off their nostalgia goggles, this herpdiderp is actually considered badass. Wut.
3. Blaziken
I know MULTIPLE people who claim that Blaziken is their favorite Pokemon. ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? Look at this abomination. An anthropomorphic CHICKEN with FLAIR-ASS pants and LONG, STICK STRAIGHT HAIR. This Pokemon can only be described as the Celine Dion Pokemon. I'm shocked it's not holding a microphone and singing that Titanic song. And this is your favorite? There are WAAAAY too many Pokemon out there for this one to be your actual fav.
2. Gyarados
Speaking of like a million people's favorite Pokemon, this is another one that doesn't compute for me. I'll admit, from the neck down, Gyarados is pretty cool. But it's a TOTAL BUTTERFACE. Again, some people actually think that the gaping maw look's intimidating. Here's a list of actually scary Pokemon: Gengar, Hypno, Houndoom, Cradily, Bisharp, Hydreigon. Notice none of them have mouths that are open 2-3 feet. He doesn't look like he's about to eat you. He looks like he's about to start drooling. Gyarados is stupid, I'll just keep my Magikarp a Magikarp, tyvm.
1. Metagross
Here's the actual story of how Metagross was designed. Designer has been up for hours designing Pokemon for Gen III. He started off with great ideas, like Absol, Grovyle, & Mawile. But that was a long time ago. He'd long since run out of cool Pokemon to design. Unfortunately, he was on a deadline, so had to come up with something quick. He looked outside and saw a rock. He recalled his previous masterpiece, Geodude. To design Geodude, he just thought of a rock with a face and arms. Perfect. He then spied a trash can next to the rock. Suddenly an idea started to form in his head. He went to the drawing board, and did a rough sketch of the trash can. He added arms, but thought he would be wild and make the arms LEGS this time (!). Then a thought occurred to the designer. "What's better than two legs? FOUR LEGS! Yeah that'd be rad!" He added the eyes, and threw an arbitrary X smack-dab in the middle of the Pokemon's face. "Hmm...what type should this be?" thought the designer. He tried his best to think of a type that would be natural for a trash can Pokemon. Steel seemed a natural choice, but he didn't want it to be TOO obvious that this creature was based on a waste receptacle. He would have to come up with something really good to throw people off. "Psychic!" He turned in his design. His superior was disappointed but had no choice but to put the trash can in the game. And to the designer's surprise, all of the idiot Pokemon fans loved Metagross! Even though he's a trash can.
There we go. I hope I offended each of you at least once. I know for a fact I offended Ted.
